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How
about that for a provocative question! I'm sure your immediate answer
is "Of course!" But many people who answer in this way simply aren't
really serious about achieving success. Let me explain.
Recently,
I had dinner with my best friend. I hadn't seen him for a while as he
is currently training to be a commercial pilot. During dinner, we
discussed the importance of having complete focus on achieving success.
In
my own case, I wanted to run an Internet business and this meant giving
up my full time job so I could focus on learning the necessary skills
and have the time to develop and run my business. The process has
required me to invest lots of time, lots of hard work and sacrificing a
lot of other activities in my life to concentrate fully on developing my
websites.
For my friend, his determination to become a pilot has
required an investment of around $100,000 to date. He too gave up his
job to pursue his dream and he also gave up his girlfriend. He has
studied in 3 countries and has studied very hard, day and night, to
attain the necessary skills and qualifications.
Conversely, we
discussed how many people say they want success but aren't really
serious about it. A case in point is a young man my friend encountered
on a course in Oklahoma. He too was studying to become a pilot but was
struggling to reach the required standard. Despite having the ability,
the young man failed his tests twice and my friend highlighted the
following reasons. As you read, see if any apply to you:-
1.
Heart isn't in it. He left university and didn't have a clear idea of
what he wanted to do. His father had found a pilot's course whilst
surfing the Internet and mentioned it to his son. Thinking that becoming
a pilot would make his family proud, he signed up. He isn't doing it
for himself.
2. Sold on romance: The thought of being a pilot
with the prestige and respect that comes with it and of course, the good
salary seemed very appealing. But it requires endless hours of hard
work and continual development and this reality is far less appealing.
3.
The man's father is paying for the course. He knows he can take as much
time as he wants because his father will pay for the extra study and
the retaking of exams. As he isn't paying for his own studies - and for
his own mistakes - he doesn't have the focus and urgency that comes when
you spend your own money. In other words, failing isn't painful enough
for him.
4. Easily distracted. Instead of doing extra study after
classes, the young man surfs the Internet. He's a keen sports fan and
spends hours on the web looking at sports sites. They are wasted hours,
hours that won't take him any nearer to becoming a pilot. This distracts
him from the task at hand, as does:
5. Inviting his girlfriend
over every weekend. Instead of working, studying or flying at the
weekends, he spends it instead with his girlfriend. They go shopping
together, they watch movies together, they dine out and you can guess
the rest! My friend tried to point out to him that he was wasting
weekends he could use to get more hours in. He was met with the reply
"Yes, but my girlfriend wouldn't be happy about that, we have to see
each other" Despite my friend saying they could spend lots of time
together AFTER he'd qualified, the young man still invites his
girlfriend for weekends - and has recently failed a third test.
If
you are to achieve the success you really want, it requires total
focus. You must be prepared to give it your full attention and be 100%
committed to your projects. It must become the number one priority in
your life.
So, are you REALLY serious about YOUR success?
Until next time.
It
is well documented that many people fail to achieve their goals in life
due to the phenomenon known as "fear of failure" but are you aware that
a major factor that is often overlooked, is a state known as "fear of
success"?
Fear of failure will lead many people into inertia -
the inability to make decision or take action in case they receive
rejection or negative outcomes. This mental state is fairky easy to
identify and there are many tools in the personal development industry
to help combat this plague and reprogram the mind for success. However,
the fear of success is much more subtle, harder to spot and also harder
to eradicate.
Perhaps you have this tendency in your life. Here are some indications of a fear of success mentality.
Studying
and trying to implement self-improvement techniques and/or personal
development tools but your life does not improve or may even get worse.
You settle for less than you feel you deserve or are capable of achieving.
You start new projects full of enthusiasm and optimism but wane in your efforts or stop short before you have completed them.
You expect things to go wrong no matter how well the situation appears to be at the moment.
Can you identify your own patterns in the any of the above statements?
The
fear of success can also make you behave in ways that hold you back.
Look at the list below. These are ethe symptoms of the fear of success.
Procrastination
- putting off what needs to be done or not doing what you know will
bring you closer to your desired result. Everyone suffers from this
inner 'demon' at some point in their lives (although some of us suffer
from it more than others!).
Procrastination is a 'success
killer'! How can ou expect to reach your destinationm if you do not take
steps towards it? Strive to do little things each day that will bring
you small steps closer to your goal. This is why having a personal
development plan is an essential ingredient in the fight against
procrastination. Take action! Any action! Refine your steps as you go
along but do not sit and do nothing. Taking action is one of the key
aspects in personal development.
Can't see the forest for the
trees! - this is almost the opposite of procrastination but has the same
effect on your personal development. The aforementioned saying is well
known but have you ever given it real consideration?
Don't get
caught up in your plan believing that it is more important than the
materialised goal! For many years I got caught in this trap. I started
to think and act as though my plan was more important than my end result
and thus missed many opportunities to alter my path and reach my goals
more quickly! Let go of your ego and allow the Universe to show you a
quicker route to your goal. Remain flexible.
Thinking that the
time is not right - have you ever waited until the timing was perfect
before starting a venture? Have you ever waited until you had more
information on a better plan?
Again ACTION is the key to the
door to success. Taking small steps forward are better than taking none
or waiting to see if your foot is landing on the right spot! Even if
your actions take you away from your goal you have at least gained
insight and knowledge about what does not work!
Being a
perfectionist - this is similar to the point above and has the same
effect, namely, that you never really move forward. No matter how good a
job is when its finished it can always be improved! I have heard many
great musicians tell how they hate listening to their own songs because
they can find a million things that need improved. Yet, we still enjoy
them. I think a classic example of this is "Bridge Over Troubled Water"
by Paul Simon. This song is hauntingly beautiful yet Mr. Simon does not
think its good enough!
Seeing only problems - how do you use
your focus? Do you constantly see only and alll the problems involved?
If you are this way inclined it is pointless trying to change overnight!
However, you can use this mindset to your advantage while you strive in
your personal development to acquire an opportunistic frame of mind
instead.
"How can you use seeing only problems to my advantage?"
you say. "Easily", is my reply! Look at the problems and prepare a plan
to deal with them. Everytime you overcome one congratulate yourself.
Use them as a gauge for your achievements. If you keep seeing more
problems remind yourself of how well you dealt with the others. Look at
how far you have come! If you see a problem ask yourself, "how best can I
overcome this challenge?" or "how quickly can I rectify this
situation?". The quality of your questions are important as I have
outlined in a previous article. Use the problems as fact finders. Is
there a real problem now? If so then deal with it. Is it a potential
problem? If so then create a contingency plan in case it does occur but
don't get caught up in it just be prepared.
Enjoy the journey,
follow the above guidelines and you will achieve success. Eventually
your fear of success will dissipate and you will have moved a long way
forward in your personal development.
Keywords:
success,
goals, personal development, self improvement , fear, self improvement,
personal development, personal growth, inspiration, motivation, mind
power, happiness, success, self help, confidence, self esteem
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